{"product_id":"escaping-the-shit-show-candle-1","title":"Escaping the Shit Show | Luxury Wood Wick Candle | Blackberry Vanilla","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Vibe: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003eA calendar block that says \"meeting,\" not \"meltdown.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Story:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003eWhen workplace drama reaches \"emergency exit\" levels, this \u003cstrong\u003erich Blackberry Vanilla\u003c\/strong\u003e candle is the mental getaway hiding behind a suspiciously vague calendar invite. It won't fix the crisis, but it ensures that while the world burns, your desk smells like everything is fine. The \u003cstrong\u003eultimate desk companion\u003c\/strong\u003e for coworkers, middle managers, and anyone else surviving one email chain away from chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Profile:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBlackberry Vanilla:\u003c\/strong\u003e Black cherry, plum \u0026amp; sugared vanilla\u003cspan\u003e,\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(166, 75, 42);\"\u003eand the peace of a locked office door.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSass Disclaimer:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eDoesn't fix the chaos. Outsmells it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Ordinary Sass Quality Standards:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003eCozy, modern, and intentionally sensory. The soft \u003cstrong\u003efrosted glass vessel\u003c\/strong\u003e adds a sophisticated touch to whatever chaos you're currently surviving, while the \u003cstrong\u003enatural wooden wick\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers a soothing crackle—the only \"background noise\" you actually want to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003eHand-poured with premium wax and high-quality fragrance oils, these candles burn cleanly and evenly. The frosted vessel glows beautifully when lit, making your \"unfiltered\" moment feel a little more like a luxury retreat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Logistics:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"list-style-type: none;\"\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVessel:\u003c\/strong\u003e 11oz Frosted Glass Jar with Maple Wood Lid\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWax:\u003c\/strong\u003e 7.2 oz. (204 g) Vegan Coconut Apricot Blend (clean-burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWick:\u003c\/strong\u003e FSC-Certified Wood Wick (trim to 1\/8\"–3\/16\" before each light)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBurn Time:\u003c\/strong\u003e 50+ Hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSafety First (Because we’re adults, apparently):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"list-style-type: none;\"\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNever leave a burning candle unattended.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKeep away from flammable objects, children, and pets who think they’re in charge.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/candles.org\/candle-safety-tips\/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eView Fire Safety Guidelines\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Ordinary Sass","offers":[{"title":"Blackberry Vanilla","offer_id":51718127845682,"sku":"PMH60-BV.1862838","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0683\/7331\/5890\/files\/Escaping_the_shit_show_Candle.jpg?v=1788550240","url":"https:\/\/ordinarysass.com\/products\/escaping-the-shit-show-candle-1","provider":"Ordinary Sass","version":"1.0","type":"link"}